Four Years Ago

Four years ago

YESTERDAY

I woke up with just enough time to get myself ready and out the door to be on time for work

I didn't have to worry about anyone else

I only brought my lap top and purse

And not half my house

Four years ago

YESTERDAY

I stayed late after school

I finished putting in all the grades for the year

I started taking down my classroom decorations

There were four days left of school and three weeks to my due date, but I felt a sense of

urgency

to get things done

Four years ago

YESTERDAY

Mike and I decided (as we often did) to go out to an impromptu dinner

We went and ate Hogi Yogi sandwiches

We sat in the booth as long as we wanted to

I can't remember if we got ice cream, but we may have

There were no sticky fingers or dropped scoops on the floor

We left the restaurant with clothes just as clean as when we entered

Four years ago

YESTERDAY

We decided to stop by the store to pick up a few things

We browsed, we wandered

We talked about the new baby

We picked out a new DVD

We came home to a clean house

We got ready for bed (and the house stayed clean)

We fell asleep on the couch watching a movie

Later after moving to bed I fell sound asleep

Four years ago

TODAY

I awoke from that sound sleep with a start

I felt funny

And then I felt wet. Really, really wet

I woke up Mike

Time to go the hospital

Four years ago

TODAY

I gave birth to our beautiful son

Four years ago

TODAY

I fell in absolute love with a little person simply because he existed

It happened in an instant

We were never the same

But we would never change a thing

Four years ago

TODAY

I lost a little piece of me (two years it happened again )

As if a little part of my heart now resides in these two children

Because each and every day of the past

FOUR YEARS

I have felt such joy at every accomplishment, every milestone, every smile

I have tiptoed into a cozy room lit by a small baseball night light

And felt as if my heart would break with love for these beautiful sleeping babies

I have sat awake rocking a baby in the middle of the night when it feels as if all the world is asleep

I have read stories, kissed owies, patted backs, changed diapers, sang songs, said no, wiped away tears, done lots and lots of laundry and changed more diapers

I have

worried

about the day to day things and about their future

laughed

with them and at myself

cried

for them and because of them

and

prayed

and prayed and prayed

Four years ago

TODAY

I became a

MOTHER